Doubts and Fears
by mentalagent13
Summary: She's beginning to doubt her own strength, and can feel the depth of her fear. One-shot. Season 4 Spoilers.


**A/N: **I have been out of the Fanfiction writing game for awhile because of work and trying to write a novel. Both are going well, but it doesn't leave much time for fanfics. I'm inspired today because of the Season 3 DVD. Spoilers for Season 4. Mistakes are mine.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing that I shouldn't when it comes to Warehouse 13

**Doubts and Fears **

She's not sure if she should share anything that has been on her mind lately, so much that is important to her is unstable, unsure, and completely controlled by artifacts. Everywhere she looks, everywhere she goes, is another artifact taking another life. There's an artifact destroying families, homes, teams, partners, hopes, dreams, and laughter. Laughter. Tears fill her eyes at the thought of something she had once enjoyed freely and frequently.

Her two main sources of laughter no longer partake in the pastime. Claudia stays sullenly in her room. Everything is not back to normal. Steve is tied to the metronome, Warehouse, and Regents. He is delegated to desk duty, which means he is researching with Leena at the B&B for every case. It puts more strain on Pete and Myka because they now must snag, bag, and tag every artifact. In the past month they have spent seven total nights at the B&B.

Pete, ever the glue, has been heated to his limits. He is sticking to Claudia better than she imagined, but she is losing her partner in the process. She doesn't want to be jealous, doesn't want to be selfish, but she misses Pete. All of her time is spent with Artie, or Leena. She sees Pete in passing with barely a 'hello' before he is gone again. On a case he recommends they split up for much of the interviewing process. He will call Leena, Artie, or Jinks without consulting her at all. It drives her insane.

She's beginning to doubt her own strength, and can feel the depth of her fear. She could lose more than she will ever understand. Her mind can't comprehend how much she has already lost. She's lost more of herself than of anything else. Originally, coming back to the Warehouse had been for them, now it's for so much more.

A rogue tear slides silently down her cheek. She lets it create a straight damp path only to gather at her chin. Her arms are too heavy to reach up to wipe it away. Her head falls so her chin makes contact with her chest. The tears fall freely now. Her shoulders shake as she strains to hold the worst of it in, but her fight is lost. A sob echoes in her dark, quiet, lonely room.

She doesn't hear the door open, doesn't see the light from the hall, and doesn't comprehend the sound of footsteps coming toward her. She is too busy doubting her strength without them; too busy succumbing to her fear.

"Myka?" his voice makes her cringe. She shrinks away from him. Pete shouldn't see her like this. She has been trying to fill his hopeful shoes these past weeks. He can't know that she is struggling to survive in a role not built for her. Dying in her attempt to be something she is not.

"Myks, talk to me," he begs. Her silence screams in agony. His face turns from one of concern to dread. "Myka. What. Is. Wrong?" he annunciates. His stomach actually hurts from the intensity of the vibe he is feeling. He has been shamefully ignoring his partner as of late. Claudia and Artie have been his main worry.

"I can't do it, Pete," she whispers, her voice breaking unnaturally. He can't stand it any longer. He wraps his arms around her even as she squirms to get free. It is half-hearted squirming at best. He holds her tighter. He can feel the moment her determination diminishes. Her body relaxes. Arms encircle his waist and a head rests against his shoulder. Tears dampen his neck and his heart turns to lead.

"Do what, Myka?" he asks once her tears dry.

"Become something I'm not," she barely says. He has to strain to catch many of the words.

"No one ever expected you to," he tells her softly. She laughs sarcastically at that. The need for someone to be happy was overwhelming.

"Pete, we … I needed hope," she tells him. Their eyes meet for the first time in weeks. Pete can finally see the pain and devastation in them. They betray every emotion. The sheer volume of it strikes him to the core. How could he have left this woman to suffer for so long?

"It's ok now, Myka. Whatever the world throws at us we can beat; we have beaten," he reassures her. It doesn't work. Her shoulders only slump in response.

"But if we do not have each other, what do we have?" she asks. He laughs. It is absurd for her to think they don't have each other. She is all that he thinks about some days. If only he had the courage and permission to tell her.

"We always have each other, Myka. Never doubt that and never fear. You are my partner, you are my best friend. That will not change," he says easily. She looks at him again. Her tears are dry leaving only the dried riverbeds marring her cheeks. He wipes those away with a small smile. She returns it and trusts that Pete will play his role once again.

**A/N:** Reviews are welcome!


End file.
